It seems like the official ages of heroes in Overwatch 2 are very well made

for the game like Monitoring 2where her story leaked Dozens of disparate foreign media stories and not in one coherent thing – you know, like, Video game campaignThere are bound to be contradictions along the way. But, sir, seeing the game’s 38 protagonists suddenly get basic ages and birthdates shows just how oddly inconsistent those ages are with the timeline we know.

This new fodder for the birth chart It comes from the official Observation and control website, which was updated this week to give each hero a legal birth date and age. Some of these make sense, like the number of old guard characters like Soldier: 76, Ana, and Reaper who are in their late 50s and early 60s. The new kids on the block — like recent addition Elari being an 18-year-old solar-powered queen, or D.Va being a 21-year-old esports champion — are probably logging off too, since they’ve mostly been cut out of the group’s larger timeline. from Observation and control. When we start to compare the basic ages of the central characters, things start to get murky.

Kiriko, one of the new support heroes introduced Monitoring 2, is one of the striking examples of mathematics not mathematics. When Kiriko was first revealed by Blizzard, it claimed that she grew up with Genji and Hanzo, and trained alongside them in the ways of the sword. However, now that all participants had official ages, things didn’t make sense anymore. We’re told that Ginji and Hanzo are 37 and 40 years old respectively, while Kiriko is supposed to be 21. On paper, I think these ages because every one of these heroes feels written into those ages, it’s pitting these figures against tradition, art, and history. And the story we know doesn’t click. Look at this illustration of the three training in Kiriko Original Story Trailer. Do you expect me to believe that there is nearly 20 years of difference between these characters? Sure, Kiriko looks young and could very well be under 10 here, but do you expect me to believe Hanzo is approaching 30 in this picture?

Fanboy attack I collected some examples to Observation and control Fans point out other oddities and inconsistencies. Consider Sojourn, who is now 47 years old. She introduced her sister, Valentine Spin-off novel “Overwatch 2: Sojourn”, would have been 14 years old when Sojourn’s niece Bonnie was born. Which is definitely not the case impossiblebut this seems highly unlikely.

Personally, one of the biggest age questions that raises eyebrows Overwatch is Farah and Mercy, who become a legal (possibly unrequited) pairing in the story when it is revealed that Farah is lesbian during The first pride event of the game. Mercy is 39 years old, while Farah is 34 years old. Meanwhile, there is Farah art in Anna’s origin story that shows a very young Farah standing with much of the original Overwatch crew; The gap between the two appears to be much larger than five years.

honest with all OverwatchThe narrative changes and shake-ups over the years, I get it. Trying to get this game’s story off the ground has been messy enough that expecting it to be tight and perfect in its timeline and lore is just nitpicking. But it’s funny to look at all the numbers next to each other and realize the majority Overwatch‘s story is more about emotions than just getting into the nitty-gritty of a timeline.

If you’re curious, here are everyone’s ages and birthdays:

tank

• D.FA: June 22 (21)
• Doomfest: May 25 (47)
• Junker Quinn: June 14 (31)
• Orissa: May 9 (1)
• Ramatra: March 29 (28)
• Reinhart: June 26 (63)
• Roadhog: September 12 (50)
• Sigma: March 12 (64)
• Winston: June 6 (31)
• Wrecking Ball: Oct 15 (16)
• Zaria: December 4 (30)

Damage

• Ash: October 1 (41)
• Bastion: ??? (32)
• Cassidy: July 31 (39)
• Echo: February 5 (14)
• Genji: October 28 (37)
• Hanzo: November 3 (40)
• Junkrat: February 29 (27)
• May: September 5 (33)
• Farah: April 15 (34)
• Grim Reaper: December 14 (60)
• Residency: January 12 (47)
• Soldier: 76: January 27 (58)
• Sombra: December 31 (32)
• Symetra: October 2 (30)
• Torbjørn: September 21 (59)
• Tracking: February 12 (28)
• The Widow Maker: November 19 (35)

supports

• Anna: January 1 (62)
• Baptiste: March 12 (38)
• Brigitte: September 22 (25)
• Ilari: December 21 (18)
• Kirikou: July 7 (21)
• Live Weaver: April 28 (31)
• Lucio: March 20 (28)
• Mercy: May 13 (39)
• Moira: April 4 (50)
• Zenyatta: July 14 (33)

Moving forward, we must all agree to no longer ask for people’s birth marks; Now, we will ask each other which is which Observation and control The hero with whom we share the month of birth. Unfortunately, my own answer of “wrecking ball, smart hamster” doesn’t sound particularly great.