“Tortured Poets” by Taylor Swift: An Honest and Unnecessary Review

With the release of her long-awaited new album, Taylor Swift has definitely released another one. Includes songs – 31 of them! -And they're all very good, assuming you like them.

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Hello, my name has been removed for safety reasons and I am honored to share with you my 100% honest review of pop icon Taylor Swift's latest album, Tortured Poets Oath.

Before I start reviewing, I'd like to address the rumor that critics like me They're afraid to criticize (Queen) Swift's amazing music. These salacious claims suggest we're afraid negative reviews will drive Swift's loyal (and awesome) fans to… Come follow us online We say bad things over and over again until we collapse into puddles of rightfully ridiculed critics.

This is unreasonable, as there have already been some (extremely stupid) Less than stellar reviews for Swift's new album By people who have mysteriously disappeared from public view. Also, many in the media no longer have the time to do critical reviews of Taylor Swift because they have moved on Writing about whether people are tired of reading too much about Taylor Swift.

But I digress.

Enjoy my completely unnecessary review of “The Tortured Poets Section”

As an established critic of the publication's name being redacted for safety reasons, I don't believe music reviews have any real significance to the world. Who cares what a random writer like me thinks about music? If you like the album, give it a listen; If you don't, don't listen to it. I should not be involved in this decision.

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Anyway, here's my absolutely worthless review of Tortured Poets Oath, which I love and are literally dying for, as well as my review of Swift's next album, which has yet to be announced.

With the release of her highly anticipated album, “The Tortured Poets Department,” Taylor Swift has definitely released another album. Includes songs – 31 of them! — and they're all very good, assuming you like them, which I certainly do.

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If you don't like Swift's new album, it's okay not to say so

If you don't like them, that's okay, you can keep quiet about it because no one really cares what you think. Music is about enjoyment, and some people enjoy certain sounds and words while other people enjoy other types of sounds and words, and some people don't like any words at all, just the sounds.

It is a free country. Dig what you dig.

Swift's words and sounds on this new album, as on previous albums, are good and important and meaningful to people who love her and also love the sounds of her mouth and the music that accompanies them. that's cool. Liking music is a great thing, so maybe just enjoy it and not gain much from an artist's album if it's not exactly what you want.

Some people like Nickelback. That's their damned business, not yours. Geez.

Maybe music is subjective and Swift's music is great for those who love it

Perhaps the strongest aspect of Swift's new album is its ability to completely immerse people in vortexes of over-analysis, when maybe, just maybe, people should listen to it and say “yeah, that's really good, I like it” or “well, that's not exactly my bag.” I'll put on some nickelbacks and move on with their lives.

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Millions of people love Swift and her music, and I think that's great, because people deserve to love things, and if the words make them happy or sad or emotional, yay! This is good.

Also, if I say the album is great because I'm a little afraid that her fans will come after me then I'm wrong, I don't want to be right, because in that case being right can be very humiliating and difficult.

Did I like “The Tortured Poets Section”? certainly. But who cares?

So I'll go with “This album marks a high point in Swift's career and will resonate deeply with her fans for years to come,” because that's probably true, and at the end of the day, who cares what I say she thinks?

Swift is a hugely popular billionaire, and I'm not. Grading board.

As far as her next album goes, it's going to be just as great, if not better, because…well, you know.

Just like what you want, people. Who am I to say otherwise?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to join my media colleagues in seeking to determine who is responsible for spreading so much news about Taylor Swift.

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on X, formerly Twitter, @rexhopke and Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk

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